Stayin' Alive

As I embark upon what I hope to be a journey of my lifetime, I cant help but look back at the year 2011 - the year that thought me so much, made me feel like things cannot be sure, made me question my values, thoughts, feelings - about work, about friends, about love, about life... As crazy as it might sound, this year taught me SO much. It reaffirmed my faith in myself - only to emerge stronger, braver, lighter. Giving me a whole new meaning to forgiveness, to liveliness, to awesomeness. The places I've visited, the people I've met, few that I've gotten the chance to know, (especially the ones that I've come to be nearer to me), also, not to mention the weddings I've attended this year - all, just pure magical. 

  After vising more than 5 cities in the past 7 months, I've come to realize that travel doesn't offer anything new, it just opens you to a whole different world for/of yourself, helping you explore what had been, what could/should be (or, the brooder in me gotto shut up) and most importantly who you'd rather be with, why play the role and what makes the difference. One minute, you're staring out of the window, the next minute, you're making life's decisions!

  Talking of life decisions, what is with people getting hitched, one after the other and another? I've attended like 5 weddings in just 4 months and guess what? I am the least bit tired of it. In fact, I want more of em. Apart from the fact that you get to dress upp, the part I enjoy most about a wedding is that - one glance around and it would click in you head, various number of times, the kodak moments, i.e., the best dressed, the best smiles and the best cars. ;) Everyone appears to be happy, everyone appears like they care, everyone feels great (at least looks like it) and everyone is just there. Now that, could be in different forms. Frenzy reunions, youngsters picturing themselves on the aisle/mandap or just rejoicing that its not them up there, old folks reminiscing about their times, or hoping their son/daughter would be next, or just the kids figuring out how they could get their hands on the next bowl of ice-cream. Whatever may be, there is that Kodak moment and I am sure as hell, its worth the capture. 

  The world revolves around love, and the rest they say, is just logistics. Time and again, I go back and forth about the idea of love, and today, I am at the same place that I'd started but looking at people around - friends, family and sometimes even strangers I say to myself, "Maybe, its like the existence of God itself, an idea that you keep questioning." But when it (the idea) is in your life, it's like a speed boat, excieting, entrilling, fun and F***ING scary - every little minute, every little second, every little moment. The hurt is deep, but what you learn out of it is in fact deeper, leaving you no choice but to be wiser (;p). To top it all, you're like, "Was it love at all in t he first place?" 

  People who know me know that, professionally, I am yet to find what I want to do for the rest of my life. Having shifted close to 5 jobs in 3 years, I've tried my best to find my love, my passion, my work. And, I am still trying. Yet, in the years to come, I intend to find it, and I am doing everything in my control to seize the moment, but I guess, its like true love, you'll know it when it happens. Until then, I'll keep rowing to find that speed boat. 

  That, a lot of rant and a bunch of rock bottoms, pretty much sums up 2011. Obviously, the cherry on the cake moments were a crazy heart break, super close friends unexpected wedding and a one-on-one with SRK (in the exact same order). Maybe it is the year ender casting its spell, but I know for sure that I haven't felt this way before. Inspite the highs so high, and lows so low, I feel cherished, I feel blessed and I feel alive... So, all I could say is, don't let those crappy jobs, "holed" pockets, lousy dumps and crazy fears get to you, cos life is much much more than just that. It about taking that feeling all in, and living the dream - even if it means bit by bit. So, hang in there and keep Feelin n Stayin' Alive... I feel it today, high time you feel it too!